Child Custody Investigation
October 6, 2022
Custody of a child is a serious matter. The goal of a child custody case is for the courts to examine the child’s well-being and treatment in an objective manner and determine the best possible living and legal arrangements for a child. Ideally, both parents of the child are equally involved in raising the child, making decisions for the child, and financially providing for the child without putting their child at any risk of harm. Ideally, both parents will agree on decisions and reach agreements on their own in a civil manner, despite any circumstances or status of the parents’ relationship. But the real world is not always ideal. In the real world, the courts get involved when one or both parents cannot come to and abide by an agreement on their own.
If you happen to find yourself in the situation of establishing a custody agreement, the first step you should take is to speak with a lawyer. Get the facts from a professional who will help you identify the best way to proceed. If you do decide to move forward with filing for custody, it will be important to have a lawyer on your side who can help you navigate the process, from the initial paperwork to the negotiations in the courtroom. Entering this process without the advice of a professional could be detrimental to your case, as the courts will expect you to be educated on the proper procedures, just as a lawyer would. Being prepared is your best offense when it comes to custody.
Once you’ve retained a lawyer, you will need to assess and determine your desired outcome of the custody hearing. There is physical custody, meaning with whom the child lives, and then there is legal custody, regarding who has decision-making power over the child. For both types of custody, there are two options: sole custody, where one parent has all the control and the other parent has none, or joint custody, where both parents share their responsibilities.
If you are seeking joint custody, you will need to decide how custody will be shared. Variables will include whether custody is split 50/50 or if one parent has more responsibility than the other, financial responsibilities, and more. These cases are complex, and will have significant impact on a child’s life, so it is important to have a clear idea of exactly what type of arrangement you are seeking from the start.
With a clear goal in mind, and while your lawyer begins the process of filing for custody, you’ll want to start building your case. If you are seeking full custody or majority custody, you will need to provide evidence that proves the other parent is unable to adequately fulfill their parental duties.
Any evidence you can provide that exhibits the other parent is incompetent, neglectful, or abusive is crucial to pleading your case. Photos, videos, or screenshots of messages can all serve as proof that the other parent takes part in activities that would have a negative impact on the child. These activities can include drug abuse, criminal activity, gambling, reckless driving, as well as mental, physical, or financial incapabilities to providing basic necessities like a safe and clean living space, food, or clothing. Documentation and physical evidence are necessary to back up your claims against them and to justify your reasoning behind whatever agreement you are seeking.
Most states prefer to settle on joint custody arrangements that allow both parents to keep their rights as long as that joint custody would not impact the child negatively. And depending upon the age of the child, the courts do try to take their preference into account on the final decision. However, just because one decision is finalized now, doesn’t mean that the circumstances or the evidence against one parent won’t change in the future. Some custody cases come back to court repeatedly.
If possible, it is best for you to begin this process outside of the courtroom and make a reasonable effort to negotiate an agreement, even if you are unsuccessful. Making this effort before obtaining a lawyer and again after obtaining a lawyer will show the courts that you are trying to reason with the other parent to the best of your ability. You will show the judge that you’ve taken the courts’ time into consideration during the process, and that the court is your last resort to develop an agreement.
Another aspect of the case to prepare for is defense. Taking inventory of your own parenting abilities, living situation, and history to prepare for any aspects of your own life and actions that can and will be used against you by the other parent. Take outside parties’ opinions of you into account here as well, because you do not want to hinder your attorney’s ability to prepare an adequate defense. On the flip side, you will also want to communicate your positive attributes to your attorney so that those can be used to defend your case for custody.
The ultimate theme here is preparedness. Leaving such an important matter up to a “he said, she said” argument in court is not likely to go in anyone’s favor. If you do not have screenshots, voicemails, police reports and videos that support your argument, then all you have is your word against the other parent’s. And unfortunately, in a court of law, that’s simply not enough to win your case. One option, in this circumstance, is to hire a private investigator to help you obtain that physical evidence.
Private investigators can perform detailed background checks which will bring criminal history, such as domestic violence or drug charges, to light. They can also complete a deep web scan to screenshot social media pictures and posts that paint the picture of how this parent represents themselves and their parenting abilities online. A medical facility canvass can be completed for those with a history of mental illness to document whether they are obtaining any necessary mental health treatment. Most importantly, a private investigator will do surveillance and secure video evidence to show how the parent interacts with and cares for the child. Surveillance can also produce evidence of any irresponsible, dangerous, neglectful, criminal, or abusive behaviors. These pieces will accumulate into a full picture that will show the court exactly why you need the custody arrangement.
There are no guarantees when it comes to custody cases, as there are many variables throughout the process, from the state you live in and the laws, to the judge that’s assigned to your case and their personal beliefs. That’s why it’s important to be prepared, be ready with facts, and work with your lawyer and a private investigator to present evidence.
Split families have become more common in today’s world and some parents are able to easily co-parent with little interference from the courts, while other parents have the unfortunate experience of having to battle over custody in a court room.
What’s important is that you, as the parent, are fighting for the best interests of your child and NOT simply fighting against your ex.
Judges have seen it all, and their primary focus is to examine everything you and the other parent bring to the table to determine what is best for the child.
Dating in the Digital Age
July 21, 2022Catfish, Scammers, and Bots – Oh My!
Most couples today meet online, primarily on dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble. These apps facilitate access to potential partners and have all but replaced the more “organic” ways of meeting people. Distance is no longer a limiting factor in beginning and maintaining relationships. Studies have even shown that there are lasting benefits for relationships that originate on dating apps. Perhaps the biggest benefit of utilizing these apps is their matchmaking algorithms. These algorithms help users find their most compatible match in an endless sea of potential candidates. Shrinking your dating pool to only those who share your most important values increases the chances of forming a long-term relationship. But unfortunately, clouding that dating pool, are catfish, scammers, and bots!
Catfish…
Despite the positive impacts of online dating, there are risks involved as well. There is always the possibility of matching with a clever “catfish.” Someone who is pretending to be someone they are not. Catfish hook their victims by altering their photos to look differently than they do in person. Or they steal another person’s photos and/or identity entirely to appear like the perfect catch.
Scammers and Bots…
Even worse, your match might not even be a person at all! Bots, which use artificial intelligence to simulate human conversation, will attract people to their dating profiles, only to scam money from them or try to obtain personal information to steal their identity. Aside from catfish, scammers, and bots, there are also real people out there. Some of them will engage in conversation and then seemingly disappear one day without a trace. This behavior, popularly known as “ghosting,” can leave you confused, worried, or heart-broken.
The good news is that there are preventative measures you can take to avoid ending up on a Netflix special such as “The Tinder Swindler” or MTV’s “Catfish.”
#1 Knowledge is Power
Keep up on the latest scams and dating trends. This can be helpful in identifying these frauds from the start. Does your “match” ask you a lot of personal questions? Are they repeatedly trying to sell you something? Inquiring deeply about your finances before you’ve had a first date? Take the time to assess your conversations and determine if anything seems fishy. Keep in mind that today’s technology allows people to edit photos, use filters, create “deepfake” videos, and more.
#2 Set Rules…And Stick to Them
Give yourself a list of rules to follow, like never sending money to anyone you’ve met online before meeting them in person. Make a timeline for how quickly you feel it’s necessary to go from chatting online, to video calling, to meeting face to face. If your match is reluctant to communicate in ways other than text messaging, there’s a good chance they are hiding something. Being firm in your boundaries will help you identify red flags. These “rules” will save you time and embarrassment down the line.
#3 Keep your Guard Up
Avoid building serious connections quickly. At least not before you’ve confirmed whether or not someone is the real deal. Allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment can make you an easy target for catfish, scammers, and bots. Set realistic expectations and tread lightly until you meet someone in person. It’s much better if you recognize you’re being fooled before you’ve chosen names for your future children.
#4 Ask the Hard Questions Early
Have that “what are you looking for” talk early on in the relationship. This will help establish whether or not you and this other person are on the same page. People flock to dating apps for all sorts of different connections, so it’s imperative you are clear about what you are looking for. Only continue conversations with people whose dating goals align with your own.
If you’re still concerned about encountering a bad apple, have a private investigator on your side. This is another measure you can take that can ease the pains of modern dating. Even the savviest daters get duped. There’s only so much you can do to protect yourself before you drive yourself mad!
Whether you want to protect your heart, your finances, or both, there’s help for you…
Private investigators have the ability to research the information provided to you by your match, such as their name, location, family, and occupation. PI’s can run background checks to help you clear any potential skeletons lingering in a person’s closet. Investigators can do a social media investigation to spot catfish or potential red flags. Merge Investigations, Inc. can also do surveillance to be sure this person is who they say they are, and confirm that they don’t have unwelcome baggage like a second family or secrets they neglected to share. If you suspect that something seems off, there probably is, and private investigators can help you find the truth.
The most important thing to remember…
Private investigation agencies are discreet. You, and only you, need to know that this is how you’re protecting yourself while Dating in the Digital Age. Private investigators are trained to be thorough and get you answers without alerting their subject. Whether it’s running a background check on your potential love interests, or having surveillance done just to be sure your online lovers aren’t phonies, we are able to tailor our investigations to your needs. With all these catfish, scammers, and bots on the loose, the gift of peace of mind is truly priceless.
Signs Your Partner is Cheating
December 15, 2021
If you’re reading this, odds are that you already have your suspicions. You’ve either noticed changes in your partner that are unsettling, or you have this gut feeling that something is wrong and you’re starting to assume the worst. Maybe your partner has already slipped up or got caught in a lie. Now you’re starting to question everything you thought you knew about your marriage or relationship. The uncertainty can be one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when you lack evidence and facts to prove infidelity is, or is not, occurring. Fortunately, when you are trying to determine unfaithfulness, there are signs your partner is cheating.
Phone/Social Media Activity
These two, quite literally, go hand-in-hand. Your phone and all of your social media apps are always readily accessible with the swipe of a finger. Phone security has certainly improved, making it easier for those around us to hide and protect personal data with a simple facial recognition lock. But you don’t always need to access your partner’s phone to know if they’re hiding something from you.
One tell-tale sign your partner is cheating is that they never leave their phone anywhere unattended. They always keep it within arm’s reach. This is to avoid giving you an opportunity to look through it. This is an even bigger red flag if this behavior is new or has started suddenly.
You may also notice unusual activity on their social media accounts. Red flags include new friends, people they’re following who you don’t recognize, or an excessive number of “selfies” posted with new comments and interactions from unfamiliar people. Ultimately, if they’re paying more attention to the phone than you, it’s a good indicator that there are problems in your relationship. The team at Merge Domestic Investigations can assist you in locating and documenting instances of questionable social media activity with our S.C.A.N.® Web Investigations.
Finances
Unusual activity relating to finances is one of the most common slip-ups a cheater can make. Have you noticed that your partner is carrying around more cash lately? It’s possible that he or she is trying to avoid the paper trail that would lead you right to their affair. Perhaps they’re not clever enough to use cash. You’d start to notice suspicious charges on your joint credit card statements. It’s important to check for charges such as ride-shares, hotels/motels, and fancy dinners that you weren’t invited to.
A dedicated cheater will almost always have excuses and explanations for those expenses. Especially if he or she has friends who are willing to help with their lie. They may even create a separate bank account and attempt to hide it from you. That’s why it’s important to remain attentive to subtle changes in your partner’s money-spending habits. Recognize these warning signs before they try to cover their tracks. A Background Investigation can also help identify hidden assets that your partner may be trying to keep from you.
Self-Improvement
While everyone has the right at anytime to embark on a self-improvement journey, it can also be an indicator of a possible affair. Changes in your partner’s routine such as a gym membership or a sudden interest in a healthier lifestyle may mean that they are trying to better themselves to impress a new love interest, appear more attractive to someone new, or even just create an opportunity to get away from you to spend time with somebody else, all while having a “legitimate” excuse.
Your partner may also suddenly pick up a new hobby that has never interested them in the past. Have they joined a book club or enrolled in a cooking class? Again, your partner may be using these activities as a way to spend time away from you or possibly appeal to the interests of a new companion.
Often times, it may be as simple as you noticing that they are speaking differently. They may be using new verbiage or phrases they picked up or listening to different music you’ve never heard them listen to before. If your partner is creating distance between themselves and you, and not acting like the same person you’ve always known, you certainly have a reason to believe something is amiss.
Fighting and Projecting
Fights and arguments are normal for most, if not all, couples. However, the frequency of fights, and the subjects of those arguments, may be cause for concern. Maybe you’ve been initiating arguments because you’ve noticed your partner is paying less attention to you. Or, maybe you’ve both been fighting because of a lack of intimacy.
A sudden increase in fights can indicate that your partner is being unfaithful. You may notice that your partner is nit-picking and starting fights over seemingly insignificant things. It is common for cheaters project their own infidelity onto their spouses or partners and accuse them of being unfaithful. They may also act jealous and insecure without any legitimate reason.
Often times, cheating partners will subconsciously search for ways to justify their actions. Cheaters will utilize a failing relationship as an “excuse” to cheat – even when they are the reason the relationship is deteriorating.
Others are noticing too
If you’ve already got your suspicions, it is likely that others around your partner have the suspicion as well. Your family members, friends and associates may have also noticed the same changes you’ve seen in your partner. They may also have additional insight. Chances are, you’re not around your partner 24 hours a day, but maybe your neighbors or your partner’s co-workers have seen something occur behind your back. Talking to those around your partner may shed some additional light on your concerns. But be careful who you ask, as they may be an accomplice to your partner’s web of lies.
All Signs Point to…Maybe?
Suspecting your partner is cheating and proving they’re cheating are entirely different. All signs may point to yes, but signs do not equal hard evidence. The best thing you can do in this situation is to answer your questions definitively, once and for all. Check out our blog on “Is a Domestic Investigation Right for me?” for how to get answers.
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