If you’re reading this, odds are that you already have your suspicions. You’ve either noticed changes in your partner that are unsettling, or you have this gut feeling that something is wrong and you’re starting to assume the worst. Maybe your partner has already slipped up or got caught in a lie. Now you’re starting to question everything you thought you knew about your marriage or relationship. The uncertainty can be one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when you lack evidence and facts to prove infidelity is, or is not, occurring. Fortunately, when you are trying to determine unfaithfulness, there are signs your partner is cheating.

Phone/Social Media Activity

These two, quite literally, go hand-in-hand. Your phone and all of your social media apps are always readily accessible with the swipe of a finger. Phone security has certainly improved, making it easier for those around us to hide and protect personal data with a simple facial recognition lock. But you don’t always need to access your partner’s phone to know if they’re hiding something from you.

One tell-tale sign your partner is cheating is that they never leave their phone anywhere unattended. They always keep it within arm’s reach. This is to avoid giving you an opportunity to look through it. This is an even bigger red flag if this behavior is new or has started suddenly.

You may also notice unusual activity on their social media accounts. Red flags include new friends, people they’re following who you don’t recognize, or an excessive number of “selfies” posted with new comments and interactions from unfamiliar people. Ultimately, if they’re paying more attention to the phone than you, it’s a good indicator that there are problems in your relationship. The team at Merge Domestic Investigations can assist you in locating and documenting instances of questionable social media activity with our S.C.A.N.® Web Investigations.

Self-Improvement

While everyone has the right at anytime to embark on a self-improvement journey, it can also be an indicator of a possible affair. Changes in your partner’s routine such as a gym membership or a sudden interest in a healthier lifestyle may mean that they are trying to better themselves to impress a new love interest, appear more attractive to someone new, or even just create an opportunity to get away from you to spend time with somebody else, all while having a “legitimate” excuse.

 Your partner may also suddenly pick up a new hobby that has never interested them in the past. Have they joined a book club or enrolled in a cooking class? Again, your partner may be using these activities as a way to spend time away from you or possibly appeal to the interests of a new companion.   

Often times, it may be as simple as you noticing that they are speaking differently. They may be using new verbiage or phrases they picked up or listening to different music you’ve never heard them listen to before. If your partner is creating distance between themselves and you, and not acting like the same person you’ve always known, you certainly have a reason to believe something is amiss.

Fighting and Projecting

Fights and arguments are normal for most, if not all, couples. However, the frequency of fights, and the subjects of those arguments, may be cause for concern. Maybe you’ve been initiating arguments because you’ve noticed your partner is paying less attention to you. Or, maybe you’ve both been fighting because of a lack of intimacy.

A sudden increase in fights can indicate that your partner is being unfaithful. You may notice that your partner is nit-picking and starting fights over seemingly insignificant things. It is common for cheaters project their own infidelity onto their spouses or partners and accuse them of being unfaithful. They may also act jealous and insecure without any legitimate reason.

Often times, cheating partners will subconsciously search for ways to justify their actions. Cheaters will utilize a failing relationship as an “excuse” to cheat – even when they are the reason the relationship is deteriorating.

Others are noticing too

If you’ve already got your suspicions, it is likely that others around your partner have the suspicion as well. Your family members, friends and associates may have also noticed the same changes you’ve seen in your partner. They may also have additional insight. Chances are, you’re not around your partner 24 hours a day, but maybe your neighbors or your partner’s co-workers have seen something occur behind your back. Talking to those around your partner may shed some additional light on your concerns. But be careful who you ask, as they may be an accomplice to your partner’s web of lies.

All Signs Point to…Maybe?

Suspecting your partner is cheating and proving they’re cheating are entirely different. All signs may point to yes, but signs do not equal hard evidence. The best thing you can do in this situation is to answer your questions definitively, once and for all. Check out our blog on “Is a Domestic Investigation Right for me?” for how to get answers.